(Original article published on January 23rd)
Amid shortages and low oil, Venezuelans are waiting for the most sacred time of the year: the Miss Universe, to be held on Sunday in Doral, Florida (Finally in Venezuela!). We are all waiting, however impossible it may seem, for our beautiful Miss Universe Gabriela Isler to deliver the crown to Migbelis Castilian, Miss Venezuela 2014, and Samsung's official secretary. Today, two days before the competition, the round of national costumes or rather extravagant rags slightly inspired by the countries was held. The conclusion: Lady Gaga you've been replaced.
1 - Miss Venezuela. I will not speak ill of you. Long live our araguaney tree which is abnormally blooming in January! (Thanks global warming)
2 - Dear Miss Lebanon, I know you are the representative of my other people but, girl, you could do better. You used exactly what my mom buys at the folkloric store in Ehden every time we go to Lebanon: her robes for resting.
3 - Switzerland, Switzerland, Switzerland, I see you one more minute and I'll die of depression.
4 - New Zealand (or Miss Arandelle?), the fact that you have fiords don't give you the right to believe that you are the drag queen version of Frozen's Elsa.
5 - I got scared. That's all I have to say about Trinidad and Tobago.
6 - How great! Who would say Lana del Rey would represent Serbia?
7 - Come and visit Slovenia: the land of American prom dresses.
8 - Israel, you are so creative.
10 - Tanzania: The Little Mermaid on Broadway.
11 - Germany, I want you to know that I loved that you represented the Berlin Wall but I don't get why the 99 Red Balloons are white and not red.
9 - Slovakia, beware your evil stepmother and stepsisters. Maybe they'll destroy your dress.
Let's go Venezuela!
12 - You won, Miss Canada! You reach a new level of abnormality. You should be thankful that there's no diplomacy here or you would be North Montana already.